2020 Healing
; Having Good Sex

By Leighana Martindale

This is part three in a series of posts written to help inspire and motivate you to put your mental, spiritual and physical needs first in 2020. We’ll offer ideas and steps to help you achieve peace and happiness in the new year.

In 2020 we are “having good sex with people who deserve us, staying hydrated, leaving behind toxic relationships, communicating our feelings, not letting anyone waste our time, and spoiling ourselves with love!”
- Candice Reels, Female Collective

While this is absolutely important on every single level, let’s focus on ‘having sex with people who deserve us’.

Energy Exchange

Too often we hurt ourselves by giving our energy to people who do not deserve it or by refusing to allow ourselves the pleasure we deserve. Where we place our energy, and our relationship with pleasure directly affects our lives. Which is why it is important to pay attention to where we are putting our energy and who we are allowing to exchange energy with us.

We all crave intimacy, as this is a crucial part of our human experience and one we all deserve. But regardless of that intense craving, we need to be mindful of who we are exchanging energy with and respect ourselves. Every time we are intimate with someone, even a new partner whom we may have just met, we are exchanging and absorbing that person’s emotional baggage. While some of that baggage may be joy, the other portion is their junk. At times this exchange is subtle but other times it is not so subtle and we take on their energy as our own.

Entangling energy is a beautiful experience that can be rewarding and encourage growth. But this could also be something that is soul sucking and numbing. Ask yourself, is the relationship rewarding? Do I feel challenged and uplifted? Or is the relationship draining? Do I feel defeated and exhausted? Depending on your answers will determine whether this relationship promotes your healing and growth or if it is blocking you from your highest self.

It’s 2020 and entangling energies are bound to happen so let’s go over basic ways to detangle these knots.

Drinking lots of water is a sure fire way to help flush your system, as well as meditation and strengthening one’s aura field through energy healing, chakra healing, and crystal use. Aura cleansing and balancing is a way to level your energy and come back to yourself.

Get That O and Zzz

Beyond energy exchange, we all need to be demanding the pleasure we deserve. For too long women’s needs have been brushed to the side. If your partner(s) isn’t pleasuring you like you would like (even if you just met them!), or if you’re not orgasming as you should, then SAY something!

Communication is key, and the majority of the time, your partner(s) is not purposefully not pleasuring you. They probably just need a little direction and you need to not feel fearful to give it. Just ensure that you are being kind and courteous of your partner’s emotions in the process.

As Arianna Huffington said on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert, “Orgasms are Mother Nature’s Ambien - without side effects!”, and we all need a good night's sleep!

Root Chakra Healing

Root chakra healing and alignment is an important key to sexual wellness as it is linked to your reproductive muscles, the stronger those muscles the easier it is to control your sexual energy. The Root Chakra greatly impacts your sexuality and feeling of security. You can use affirmations like, “I am safe” and other mantras to begin healing your Root Chakra.

An imbalanced Root Chakra can be blocked by fear and various forms of trauma. When not healed we can feel insecure, anxious, have panic attacks, feel emotionally disconnected and our sexuality diminished.

More resources you can use for working on your Root Chakra are yoga - these specific poses - as well as using Youtube. Youtube is a great resource for finding healing meditations, tapping mantras, and other amazing resources. This is one of the Root Chakra Healing videos I play while falling asleep.

Tip: Set a timer on your TV and play guided meditations as you fall asleep.